dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
