my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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