turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
