you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
