Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
