He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
