hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
