We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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