I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
now i know why i became what i already was.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
