yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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