Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
