therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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