first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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