No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
