you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
