Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
