GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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