Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
