how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
