how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
