Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
