From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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