if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
