Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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