Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
