accomplished twins. life is a go
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
