It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
