Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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