Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I want her autograph on my taint
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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