I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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