Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
