i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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