Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it glows. i had to have it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
