Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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