I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
