could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
