Just fell off a train. Bad.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
