I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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