I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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