Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize