White coat. Heels.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
