she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
