normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
