It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
