You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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