if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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