Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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