Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The power of my boobs compel you
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
