He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
