I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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